MEMORANDUM FROM A YOUNG ATHLETE

• Don’t spoil me.  I know quite well that I ought not have all I ask for.  I’m only testing you.

• Don’t be afraid to be firm with me.  I prefer it.  It makes me feel more secure.

• Don’t do for me what I can do for myself.  It makes me feel smaller than I am.

• Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it.  I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

• Don’t discuss my behavior in the heat of the situation.  My hearing is not very good at this time, my cooperation even worse.  It is all right to take the action required, but let’s talk about it later.

• Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins, it upsets my sense of values.

• Don’t make rash promises.  I feel badly let down when promises are broken.

• Don’t forget, I can’t explain myself as well as I would like to.  That’s one reason I’m not always accurate.

• Don’t be inconsistent.  That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in your guidance.

• Don’t put me off when I ask questions.  If you do you’ll find I stop asking and will seek my information elsewhere.

• Don’t ever suggest you are perfect or infallible.  It gives me too great a shock when I find you are neither.

• Don’t ever think it’s beneath your dignity to apologize to me.  An honest apology makes me feel warm toward you.

• Don’t forget how quickly I’m growing up.  It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please do try.

• Don’t forget that I love experimenting.  I couldn't’t get on without it, so please put up with it.

• Don’t use force with me.  I will respond more readily to being led.

• Don’t worry about the amount of time we spend together.  It is how we spend it that counts.

• Don’t tell me my fears are silly.  They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me, if you try to understand.

• I guess the best way to describe a good coach (or a parent) is a person who I may sometimes dislike, often love, and always respect.